steffan may

Chapter One: HANOJ GETS A MESSAGE FROM GOD

Hanoj had just graduated from high school and was doing what most recent high school graduates do; doom scrolling through social media, attempting to defer monumental life decisions through avoidance, only making his anxiety infinitely worse…in other words, relaxing.

He stopped scrolling for a second when he noted an odd profile simply titled, “God.” He quickly read the post: “Hanoj! Go to Hevenin College. They’re not on the right path. They don’t think that I exist, and it’s starting to show. Tell them about me, that I love them, and that they should repent and follow me. If they don’t, then things might start to get bad for them. Immediately, a cold sweat broke out. Hanoj knew exactly what this message meant and more specifically, exactly what it meant for him.

He immediately deleted Facebook off his phone in hopes that he could pretend that he never saw the bizarre post in the first place.

Chapter Two: HANOJ DECIDES TO ENROLL IN TRADE SCHOOL

Hanoj lived in a western town that was founded during the copper boom of the late 1800s. After the mines dried up, the town persisted, but only as a hollow shell of its former self. Despite its reason for existing having long been carted away, its population stubbornly refused to be carted away with it. It wasn’t an easy place to live, and in order to survive, its economy had to pivot from mining to education. A small liberal arts school called Hevenin College grew from a small haven for the children of local wealthy elites to a large liberal arts school that was a haven for the children of wealthy elites from all over the country. As it is in all such college towns, there was an inherent friction between the privileged students who enjoyed the trendy bars and restaurants and the local townies who swept the floors, mowed the grass, and fixed the furnaces of Hevenin. Hevenin College was the very last place a kid like Hanoj would ever want to go.

While he hadn’t committed to the idea yet, his tentative plan had been to enroll in the local trade school, Shishrat Institute. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to pursue as a career, but he figured he’d take some classes and eventually figure it out. He thought welding might provide a good living. As could be imagined, Shishrat was the butt of many jokes the Hevenin students would tell each other to make themselves feel superior to the local working class kids that would be repairing their cars or preparing their meals some day. To add insult to injury, Hevenin College was located on the far east end of town at the top of the high point of elevation. The terrain sloped down to the west, and at the far western end of town, at the very bottom of the hill, was Shishrat. The sludge and waste from Hevenin literally flowed down hill until it rested in a puddle that was Shishrat. In years past, the active mines were at the current location of Shishrat whereas the homes of the mine owners were up on the hill where Hevenin College now stood.

The strange message that God sent to Hanoj to go to Hevenin took his plans to enroll in Shishrat from a maybe to a definitely. He immediately put his phone in his pocket, got off the couch, and went to the bus stop to head to Shishrat. The cold sweats started to subside.

Chapter Three: HANOJ GETS ON AN ELEVATOR

After a short bus ride, Hanoj got out and faced the unimpressive and dilapidated building that was Shishrat Institute. It smelled a little like burnt plastic. Hanoj had never been inside Shishrat as there had never been a reason to.

He slowly walked in the front door and was immediately confronted with a bank of elevators and a faded sign. “Registrar: 2rd Floor, Room 227.” Hanoj pushed the up arrow (which he noted stuck in) and waited for the elevator with about ten other future students. They were all doing the same thing and had the same look on their faces; equal parts anxiety and defeatism. The elevator, which appeared to have been constructed in the 1940s, made a series of loud clangs and screeches as it slowly made its way to the first floor. The door opened and everyone shuffled into the small space that smelled like flatulence.

With everyone inside, the elevator door lazily closed. Suddenly and without warning, everyone felt weightless for what seemed like thirty seconds but was actually about three. The elevator had inexplicably dropped down about 200 feet. Everyone looked at each other in shocked silence. How could they have dropped that far down when they started on the first floor?!

A crackling, distorted voice came through the intercom speaker below the emergency button and key controls.

“Hello folks. Don’t panic, but we’ve had a bit of an elevator malfunction. Turns out, Shishrat Institute was built over an old mine. It was a lot cheaper than mitigating the environmental disaster that resulted from the old mining techniques. When the pumps were turned off, the mine shafts filled mostly with water. It was easiest to build the elevator shaft of this building over the top of the mine shaft, so that’s what they did. It wasn’t a problem until the elevator safety failed…along with the backup safety. So the bad news is you’re all dangling over a mile deep mine shaft about 50 feet from the water line. The good news is we’ve already ordered the parts we need to safely pull you up. A little more bad news, the parts are currently in China. A little more good news, we paid extra to get the parts here in two days. So you guys are going to have to tough it out down there for the next 48 hours. We’ll lower you down some fruit snacks and water. You can open the elevator door to relieve yourself. Just be very careful not to fall out into the water. That stuff is loaded with heavy metals and is highly toxic. Okie dokie, that’s it for now. We’ll check in a bit later. Bye for now.”

Unbelievable. As everyone began to discuss all this, Hanoj curled up in the corner of the elevator and went to sleep. He couldn’t think of a better way to spend the next two miserable days.

Chapter Four: THE ELEVATOR PROBLEMS WORSEN

After all the excitement, everyone was worn out and resting. Suddenly, a loud CRACK and the elevator dropped another ten feet. This time, instead of coming to a stop, it seemed to lurch back and forth, swinging like a pendulum. The intercom voice crackled on again, but this time instead of being reassuring, it sounded frantic. “Okay, I’ve got an update. Things have gotten a little more urgent. If you don’t drop some weight pronto, the cable might give and the whole elevator may free fall. And uh…we estimate that the uh…the outcome in that case might be uh…suboptimal. So, you need to start throwing everything out of the elevator. Keys, backpacks, phones, shoes, belts… anything you can. Do it NOW!”

The passengers quickly began to follow the grim instructions and were chucking their personal items as a fast as they could. At some point, someone noticed that Hanoj was somehow still sleeping in the corner. “Hey! Get up, man! We’re all about to die if we don’t drop weight right now!”

Hanoj startled awake and immediately got a sinking feeling in his gut. He remembered the message from God and knew why all this was happening.

As urgency turned into unmitigated panic, the seemingly doomed elevator passengers began to ask existential questions. Someone said aloud, “Is this happening because my carbon footprint is too big?” Someone else answered, “No, it’s my fault. I didn’t use the temporary profile picture to raise awareness for the systemic oppression of the hairless hedgehogs of Malaysia even though I had the opportunity to do it.”

At this point, Hanoj couldn’t stay silent any longer. “Um, guys?…It’s me. This is my fault. I got a message from God, and I ignored it. Actually, I did worse than ignore it. I did the opposite of what he asked me to do. If we don’t drop weight right now, we’re all going to die. If you throw me out of this elevator, then there’s a chance that only one of us dies. There’s no time. Please…DO IT!”

As he finished his speech, the elevator dropped a few more feet. The passengers looked at each other and then gave Hanoj what he had asked for. They threw him out of the elevator door into the unknown blackness below.